Malls are basically the same wherever you go. The same stores, the same food, the same atmosphere that's designed to lull you into a stupor. Some are more upscale than others, some are bigger than others, but a mall is a mall. You've got to be a mall veteran to notice any real difference.

I grew up in New Jersey. I'm a mall veteran.

And my local L.A. mall, the Westside Pavillion, is quite the L.A. mall. It's not particularly froofy -- most of the stores were the usual middle-class offerings you'll find everywhere. But my god, four hair salons and a manicure/waxing spa under one roof? This isn't even a huge mall by American retail standards: about 160 stores. That's a larger percentage of mall real estate than usual dedicated to making bodies look better. There's even a dance studio and a fencing club.

No in-house liposuction, at least.

In further evidence of job-market misery, only one store in the entire place -- an airbrushed-looking cosmetics boutique -- had a Help Wanted sign.