On the way to the store yesterday, I passed a can of white paint on the sidewalk under an underpass, near a homeless encampment. It looked like it had been dropped there and splattered somewhat. "Odd," I thought, and didn't ponder it too much.

On the way back, a man was near the can. Specifically, a man with white paint all over his face and head, and splattered down his body, as though he'd turned the can over his head. He was crabwalking along the sidewalk looking like a scene out of a David Lynch movie, and none too friendly to boot.

It was too late to cross the street, so I pondered whether I'd just fight him hand-to-hand or brain him with my heavy backpack first, when I realized he wasn't getting up. As I passed, I heard him moan, "I had too much to drink..."

I reckon he had.