12/28/00: A little late, but here you go: how Hanukkah became a Christmas substitute.

12/27/00: I've got your Second Amendment right here. How'd this nutter get an unregistered AK, anyway?

12/19/00: Look! A nav bar! Is it 1996 already?

12/15/00: I'm doing the year-end introspection thing, so it seemed like a good time to post my try-out column for my former Boston.com gig. It's about a blow-out party Razorfish threw last November, a seeming eternity before the Internet consulting biz hit the skids. Give it a read and chuckle at our charming innocence.

12/12/00: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

12/4/00: Why yes, Jen, I'd love to see your vacation pic-*yawn*...huh? Where am I?

12/1/00: What sucks more: The T or the economy?

11/29/00: They closed my husband's office and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. (Update: he still has a job after all)

11/21/00: Business. Politics. The Middle East. I think I'm just going to look at baby rhinos.

11/19/00: Jesus, forget I said anything about the election! Talk about sound and fury signifying nothing. Just draw straws already, I'm getting an ulcer here.

11/10/00: It sure is weird being abroad during this election mess. Still confused? The Sun-Sentinel's ballot FAQ answers some questions. But don't forget the other issues.

11/4/00: Robert Cormier, one of the great purveyors of "young adult" angst-lit, has died at the age of 75.

11/2/00: And you thought your company's Q3 conference call was scary?

10/29/00: Ah, the sick games journalists play. (I'd vote for "identified by dental records," myself).

10/27/00: Do you read the busines/tech news? You might appreciate this. (Contains the s-word).

10/24/00: I don't have a TV anymore. Good thing I have this.

10/17/00: I shuffled things around a bit and added some new pages. Design still circa 1995.

10/10/00: No, I wasn't dead. Just in Europe. Well, I'm still there. But now I have a Net connection!

Coincidentally, October has been a print-side month; I'm in the current issues of Grok and Working Woman.

Happy Columbus Day, Yom Kippur, German Re-unification Day, or anything else you may have celebrated or observed recently.

8/22/00: Now would be an excellent time to evolve past the need for sleep.

8/10/00: We haven't come far enough, and don't call me "baby."

8/3/00: Personal homepages for characters in commercials, created by an ad agency, sporting no logos or branding whatsoever -- bizarre. (Now, for humor very loosely disguised as business, rather than business obliquely disguised as humor, you can't beat NinjaBurger).

8/2/00: It's been chilly and drizzly instead of hot and humid. This is not a bad thing.

7/28/00: Funny, I never worried about mosquito-borne diseases before. Yuck.

7/25/00: Ah, globalization. (Shameles Plug Alert: I wrote the article)

7/21/00: Everyone knows Charles Shultz is dead. Everyone knows the Peanuts strips running now are reruns from another time. So why bother updating the jokes? Next: new editions of the classics, with all those pesky historical references removed.

7/19/00: Ever been asked, "Hey, is that a Palm?" Rolled your eyes as your dinner companion checked his email at the table? Enjoy some PDA etiquette tips.

7/14/00: I'm not a Lynx nut, and I haven't used a 14.4 modem since 1997. (Yeah, I know, even that's embarrassing). But this 5k web page contest is just so cool. Especially the furniture store.

7/13/00: News flash: you don't have to work full-time. Contrary to this article's implications, though, you don't need the excuse of a lofty artisitic vision or time-consuming hobby (maybe you just don't want to work all the time? Novel idea, I know). The San Francisco Chronicle calls them "shadow drones." Didn't we used to call them "downshifters?" I guess the difference is that today, the downshifters can afford to skip the part about voluntary simplicity.

7/12/00: Great. Prozac for PMS. I hate the pharmaceuticals industry.

6/30/00: My life is complete now that one can virtually drop a Hello Kitty head on Regis Philbin. It's the best thing since the erstwhile Slap a Spice Girl. But I'm not in it for lofty political reasons -- I just find the guy incredibly annoying.

6/27/00: It seems that Harry Potter fans don't know what to do with themselves while they wait for Book 4, so they're writing fanfiction and such. Now, I'm all for the popularity of the Harry Potter books, because whatever gets people (especially kids) to read (or write, even if it is fanfic) is a good thing. But there are many other fine books out there. Maybe these folks should try an author other than JK Rowling while they wait.

6/20/00: Next, a virus for anyone who bought Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. The latest virus is karmic payback for those who want more stupid, forwarded jokes based on gender stereotypes. (Not to mention that if you haven't learned by now not to open unsolicited attachments with random file suffixes, you're screwed).

6/19/00: An interesting Ms. article cracked me up with this line: "Although we are far from rare, young married feminists are still, for some, something of a novelty--like a dressed-up dog. We can cause a surprised 'Oh, would you look at that' or a disappointed 'Take that damned hat off the dog, it's just not right.'" I've been trying to come up with a simile that good since 1998.

6/12/00: Why am I updating so often lately? I'm not turning into a blogger, am I? Anyway, today I learned that more Americans are reading news online, which pleases me for fairly obvious reasons. None of my employers will get APBNews Disease, right? Right?

6/7/00:: There's one less good technology journalist in the world today: Mercury News tech reporter Tom Quinlan dies.

6/5/00: Go read this article about sleep deprivation in the high-tech industry. Scary stuff.

6/2/00: I'm about to go buy a copy of a magazine with one of my articles in it -- at the grocery store. This is gonna be weird.

5/8/00: I walked 20 miles this weekend and I'm feeling strangely fine. Woo hoo!

4/28/00: The Financial Times linked to one of my pieces in their Information Technology section. I'm fairly pleased that the venerable FT deems me worthy. The link will probably be gone by the end of the day, but here's the article they liked: Spin Your Numbers! Amazon's Do Si Do

4/18/00: I've had a highly entertaining few days, thanks to such diverse cultural influences as Sherman Alexie, the Violent Femmes, and the grand people-watching experience of the Boston Marathon: runners in ballerina costumes, kick-ass racing wheelchairs, and one techno-dancing grandma.

4/7/00: I am feeling strangely hip today, in a strange and geeky 21st century way. The Boston Phoenix referred to the monthly freelance lunch I attend as something that gathers "budding Internet insiders." Heh. And I got paraphrased in an online journal. No, you can't have a link; I was swearing profusely and my family is online these days ;)

3/10/00: Now that I have regular, weekly gigs, I saw this site growing to epic proportions. So I changed the clips format. It's no longer a complete archive; I think this will be better because you're only getting my favorite bits. Completists can search the web for my name. I'm the only Jen Muehlbauer with a web presence, as far as I can tell.

2/3/00: The joys of freelancing: I can be a journalist and a corporate communications chick. Check out my newest client, Open Ratings (though I can't take credit for any of the copy on that site). It's an interesting service.

1/13/00: Dude. My column on female gamers has probably been my most popular article to date. Who knew?

1/2/00: I told you it would all be fine.

12/12/99: In Middle English, all the extra e's were at the ends of words. Now, all the extra e's are at the beginnings of words. The English language has come full circle!

12/10/99: I've finally updated the site.

12/3/99: This is my first week covering geek life for Boston.com's new technology site. Read the first column or, for all you cyber-stalkers out there, see what I look like. (Update: Boston.com has pulled all the links)

11/30/99: Fame! Glory! No semi-valuable prizes, though. I got an honorable mention in one of Salon's writing contests by poking fun of one of my favorite targets: forwarded email.

11/23/99: I read this weekend that online journalism is one of the least-respected professions in the U.S. You're welcome.

10/28/99: In the "Flattering, but...Huh?" Department: Looksmart has filed me under Nonfiction Authors, right between Sir Thomas More and a guy who used to write for Saturday Night Live. No clue where they found me. This is somewhat satisfying, though I'm not sure why.