Not Too Late To Change The Name

2008-10-05T14:22:00.000-07:00

I did something unusual yesterday: I hung out in downtown Los Angeles and really enjoyed myself. The blocks around City Hall were closed off for a music festival. I'm not normally a fan of privatizing public space, but it was nice to walk around downtown without getting accosted by junkies or mentally ill homeless people. I also felt bad for people whose buses were rerouted for the event, but at least most bus activity in that part of downtown relates to the courthouses or City Hall, so would not be affected by weekend closures.

I had a great time, discovered some interesting new music, and will be back later with weird Youtube videos, I'm sure. My favorite new find of the day was a local band named The Mae Shi. Big noisy ridiculousness! Upon a little bit of research, I found that many of the bands I've become enthusiastic about in the last year (Deerhoof, Gorch Fock, Dance Disaster Movement, and now The Mae Shi) are considered "noise rock." I prefer the descriptions I've been using such as "crazy discordant crap!" but then, I never had a future as a music critic. (On the opposite end of the spectrum, I've been listening to a lot of Low. Go figure.)

Here's something from a festival that would have been even better...
[Hendrix video]

2008-10-01T18:32:00.000-07:00

Never doubt the power of the Internet to deliver depressing news from total strangers.

Someone commented on this photo on Flickr to say the restaurant in it was going to be demolished.

Sadly, it's true. "Ben's De Luxe Delicatessen and Restaurant" (aka "Ben's") in Montreal closed in 2006 and will be torn down. I went there (I think) twice when I lived in Boston and used to go up to Montreal every summer for the beer festival. Too bad. I bet they're going to put some crappy chain in its place.

Some other (and often better) photos here.

2008-09-30T11:45:00.000-07:00

The name of this blog

The music blog Star Maker Machine has a theme each week, and this week's theme is songs that blogs have been named after. Hello meta, how are you today?

Often, when I had insomnia in high school, I stayed up watching MTV until the wee hours. This force-fed me much "alternative" music (so alternative it was promoted on MTV...) and commercial ads, of course, but it was better than some things I could have been doing. I seem to recall, and I could be wrong, that the band Dramarama was on once and joked about how they really hate the name of their band. A band member said something to the effect of, "I wanted to name this latest album "it's not too late to change the name.'"

Why do I remember this, or think I remember this? I don't know. Everyone's a little autistic.

If I'm remembering this right, the actual name of Dramarama's then-new album was Hi-Fi Sci-Fi, which is also a pretty terrible name. It was one of the dozen or two cassette tapes I owned at that time. I seem to remember I listened to it a lot senior year on my walks from school to my fast food job. I have not replaced it on CD. I probably should have had the album with Anything, Anything instead. My rocker students know and love this song, somehow.

2008-09-29T16:54:00.000-07:00

How about something new for a while? I'm going to start picking photos from my obnoxiously huge Flickr stream and showing them here with the story behind it. Because, well, it's nice that you're reading, but this page is really here to amuse me. And I'm so sick and tired of teaching right now, I can't begin to tell you. So, failing something hilarious or newsbreaking, I'm going to be quiet on the work front for now. People reading strictly for the teacher content may want to unsubscribe for a bit.

Anyway, here's a good one.

In March 2008 in Nowhere, New Mexico -- okay, okay, Carrizozo --- we ate an average dinner at what seemed to be the only local bar and grill. This bit painted on the outside wall, however, was hilarious. Ho-made chile does not sound too savory to me.

2008-09-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

I'm just a simple man, I do the best I can

I sometimes think my yearning for a nice, quiet life is akin to Klaus Nomi claiming, however ironically, to be a simple man.
[video]

2008-09-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

Remember two days ago when I said this?
"I also find it funny that security even thought to search A CLASSROOM GARBAGE CAN for something students were getting high on. I mean, I may not have the best classroom management ever, but I would have noticed students snorting a spray can, right?"

Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha. Apparently not. I suck.

Not sure whether I should quit now or wait patiently to get fired.

Update: I'm not getting fired. I'm not even in trouble. I've been reassured by two admins and my dean that this kind of thing happens on the regular. (!?!?) "It doesn't smell like anything and they do it really fast," they say. "It happens to CRAPPY teachers," I replied in each case. I'm assured this is not true. The dean says, "Five kids did it in front of me at nutrition and I didn't notice. One of our best PE teachers, controls those 60 kids fine every day, one of his kids did almost the whole can and the only reason we found out was because she threw up and passed out."

Regardless, I am extremely upset. I took the rest of the day off. I declare this week over.

2008-09-24T19:37:00.000-07:00

Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll! And it's only Wednesday!

Let's review my week.

Monday: assembly of the music-and-dancing, pump-the-kids-up variety. Good luck getting anything done after that. Though I'm grateful I was not one of the teachers pulled on stage to dance.
Tuesday: Short day. Kids are wacky; unknown reason. Bozos in period 6 pull out another condom, then are forced to call their mommies in front of the class and explain why they're in trouble.
Wednesday: Dance after school preoccupying the kiddoes, yet the morning classes do well after strictness/pep-talk combo. Then comes period 5, and security entering the room multiple times to pull students, search my garbage cans for huffables, etc. The three students caught with an aerosol can after being pulled from science class are the talk of period 6, supplanting even the dance. However, yesterday's prophylactic-tossing chumps are chagrined and behave themselves.
Thursday: I'm expecting more fallout from the Great Aerosol Huffing of '08, and Thursday night is Back to School Night. 12-hour day, yay.
Friday: Quizzes, and HI I WAS HERE UNTIL 8PM LAST NIGHT WHY AM I BACK?

This is my easy second year? It beats last year, but I do not seem to be having an easier time than the first-year teacher upstairs. I'm hoping this week is an outlier.

(I also find it funny that security even thought to search A CLASSROOM GARBAGE CAN for something students were getting high on. I mean, I may not have the best classroom management ever, but I would have noticed students snorting a spray can, right? Though the security guy and I then reminisced about how Mr. [Teacher I Replaced] had to call security because one of my former students was smoking a joint in the back of the room during a lockdown. Yes, I work in a middle school.)

2008-09-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

Warning: eduwonkery

A friend of mine who has heard many of my stories from schools in LA sent me the following article:
A Simple, Successful Approach to California's Exit Exam
She said she was skeptical, and she was right to be.

If you don't feel like reading, it's about a successful public high school in Ingewood, CA. Inglewood is generally considered inner city, and the school is predominantly African-American, a subgroup that tends not to perform well in SoCal public schools. This school, however, has great results. It's a feel-good article for sure. I imagine if you're even reading this, you're a fan of public schools being successful and underserved groups of kids breaking the mold and doing well.

But (and there is always a but). I'm worried people will read this article and say, wow, all we need is a dedicated principal who Cares(tm) and knows kids' names and everything will be awesome.

There are five groups of people who make a school: students, parents, teachers, administration, and support staff. (Think the last group isn't important? Trust me, things go bad in general if the computer room, textbook room, copy center, maintenance staff, etc do not have their act together. But we won't be discussing them here.)

Students: This school's students may or may not be from the ghetto (the article says many kids come from outside Inglewood, and if you can't name at least one middle-class/wealthy black neighborhood in LA don't even try to argue with me on this one). Either way, they're the cream of the crop. In the article, the principal says they're not, but these admissions standards tell another story. I also question whether a school with merit-based admissions can truly be considered a public school.

The school population is 370. 'Nuff said. Give me 370 of the best kids anywhere and give them their own small high school and of course they will do well.

Additionally, the school is only 41% low income. Only 1% are English learners. This is a more challenging student body than many of us went to high school with, but does not hold a candle to the challenges of your average neighborhood public high school in Los Angeles or Inglewood.

Parents: 42% of the students have parents who went to college. Wow. Also, the parents cared enough to get their kids into this school. Of course, kids of every socioeconomic level and color have messed up home lives, but there is a level of involvement in the kids' education here that surely helps.

Teachers: They are clearly hiring insane martyr superteachers hoping to be the next Stand and Deliver or Freedom Writers. Evidence: one of the 17 teachers at this school (17?!?) is driving from SAN DIEGO to work there. That's two hours each way without traffic. Four hours of commuting per day. Clearly this teacher is single, if not also completely insane.

Administration: Given all the pluses above, AND a school that seems to be run very efficiently at the admin level, it would be racist to be surprised that these kids do well. Again, give me 370 kids of any race or income level, whose parents are on top of things, in a small school with teachers willing to give their lives to the cause, and I don't imagine this school is difficult to run on the day-to-day. Especially when you can kick kids out for low grades -- kick them out to schools like mine.

Less important but not irrelevant:
1) One of the yardsticks the article uses to declare this a successful school is the CAHSEE, the California high school exit exam. The CAHSEE is kind of a joke. It tests mostly for 7th grade math and 9th grade reading level. I mean, every high school I've ever known in LA has still had lousy pass rates, so that's sad, but no need to congratulate this school TOO hard for CAHSEE success.
2) This school is not in the LAUSD, which helps on every possible level.

I'm not begrudging these students, teachers, or admins (and parents?) their hard work. I'm just saying you can't point at this and wonder why every troubled school can't be like this one and get it together. It's not the kids with 3.0 averages and above who create the problems in LA public schools. What about the rest of them? As long as I'm teaching low achievers, saying "Good morning" or being a "people person" or having a "relationship" with my students is not going to get them to pass any test. I'm not saying it doesn't help -- kids will work harder if they like you. But a "family atmosphere" is not a magic bullet and it's given too much credit in this article.

PS: Middle class to affluent African-American enclaves in Los Angeles include Leimert Park, View Park, Windsor Hills, Ladera Heights, and don't forget Baldwin Hills.

2008-09-21T09:22:00.000-07:00

In hard times, tent cities rise across the country

"Nearly 61 percent of local and state homeless coalitions say they've experienced a rise in homelessness since the foreclosure crisis began in 2007, according to a report by the National Coalition for the Homeless.

"The Department of Housing and Urban Development recently reported a 12 percent drop in homelessness nationally in two years, from about 754,000 in January 2005 to 666,000 in January 2007. But the 2007 numbers omitted people who previously had been considered homeless � such as those staying with relatives or friends or living in campgrounds or motel rooms for more than a week.

"In addition, the housing and economic crisis began soon after HUD's most recent data was compiled.

"The data predates the housing crisis," said Brian Sullivan, a spokesman for HUD. "From the headlines, it might appear that the report is about yesterday. How is the housing situation affecting homelessness? That's a great question. We're still trying to get to that."

2008-09-20T18:46:00.000-07:00

Music break: Faithless, "The Man In You"
[unexciting visual]

2008-09-19T18:46:00.000-07:00

This spat between two students in my 7th grade algebra class has stayed with me all day, and I think it has applications far beyond the realm of 12-year-olds and math:

Male student 1: [asks a question about the math]
Male student 2: "I can't believe you don't get that. You're so dumb."
Me, to student 2: "He got a better grade than you on the first quiz. Why do you think that is? Because he asks questions."
Student 1: "I know I'm not dumb. YOU'RE dumb. I don't care how good you did in the math olympiad."
Student 2: "No, I'm smart. I just ACT dumb."
Student 1: "THAT'S what MAKES you dumb, idiot."

(Me, in my mind, to Student 2, in the style of The Big Lebowski: "Why is everything a fuckin' TRAVESTY with you?")

In a not-unrelated note, I am, as I type, listening to a very loud, angry, profanity-laden (yes, worse than this blog) three-generation family feud echo through the apartment building. I can hear every word. (Just now: "Mom, don't talk to grandma like that!") I'm craving just 24 hours of peace. I don't think I'm going to get it in this city.

2008-09-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

Considering I had to break up an in-classroom fight within the first 10 minutes of school, this day could have been worse. (So much for the new immigrant ESL kids being respectful of the ways of school.)

The 7th grade algebra debacle is nearing to a close, I hope.

The 7th grade dean seems a bit more useful than the 8th grade dean was.

Next kid from period 6 who makes a paper airplane gets a paper airplane enema.

2008-09-17T17:16:00.001-07:00

Rather than continuing to shake my fist at the clusterfuck that is 7th grade algebra both inside class and administratively, here's something I did today that worked with all 5 classes.

I showed them this video as the warmup:

Kids would always yell, "It's fake!" I asked them WHY they thought it was fake. They had some interesting theories, but no one nailed it. I will tell them tomorrow how it was actually done. (They filmed themselves messing up a solved cube and ran it backwards.)

Here's tomorrow's. It's not as good, and it's pretty obvious to me, but then again, I'm not 12.

(Duh, ALL the original cards have been removed. Miss, that was easy...)

Not sure I can get enough videos to do one every day, but boy, do they shut up for this in a way they don't for doing problems on paper. Only one kid asked what this had to do with math. I told him problem solving of any kind was mathematical thinking. Think an admin would accept that reasoning? I'm sure I'll find out someday.

2008-09-16T16:48:00.000-07:00

Quick update since my last post was a downer.

Kickass conference opportunity
I may get to go to Macworld in January with school conference money. This has happened the last several years and people who've never been there have priority this time. This may change, since many things are changing this year, but it looks good. Sweet.

Smart kids from heck (I've seen "from hell" and this ain't it)
The algebra -> Math 7 switchover is being completely manhandled by the administration, of course, but the kids are taking it fairly well.

I finally figured out how to get that class in hand: give them a worksheet with enough leads that they can figure it out, but on a new topic. Some kids will suss it out. Most won't, and will demand I teach it to them. (O RLY? You *want* me to talk to you? Okay, only when it's quiet...)

That same class is also getting better about self-policing and quieting themselves down. A highlight of last week was when one of the nerdiest kids in class yelled at his friend, who was talking way out of turn, "SHUT UP, DICKFACE!" The class bust out laughing. Unfortunately, so did I. Through my hysterics, I managed to send the dickface and his friend both out of the room to address the talking out of turn and the swearing, respectively, when I was done calming down the rest of the class.

Dumb kids from heck
Last week, Period 6 decided it would be funny to open a condom package, drop the item on the floor, and then make a big deal of it. Huh huh Beavis, I'm 12. Today, I gave them some Smarties to help ease the pain of taking a quiz. (I also then got to say "put some candy in your mouth instead of talking" rather than the usual "don't talk.") Some of these geniuses decided grinding up the Smarties and snorting the sugar was the funniest thing on earth. Seriously.

My favorite new catch phrase
"Don't just sit there and pick your nose."

Personal
I've been eating decently, could be sleeping more, and haven't been to the gym since the first day. I think I need to go to the gym in the morning if I'm ever going to go this year. Craptastic.

Rick has borrowed a PS2 and Rock Band -- long story. There went my weekend. Those little drums are fun.

RIP David Foster Wallace.

Have some Stevie Wonder:

2008-09-11T16:28:00.001-07:00

Someday I will work at a school that has its shit together BEFORE the school year starts

My 7th grade algebra class is going to become an advanced Math 7 class. Same kids, new course title. An easier class, a foundation for algebra, yet I'm still expected to make it rigorous.

They're going to pull the top kids and put them in what will be the only 7th grade algebra class. Everyone else hands in their algebra books and resents me even more than they already do, even though it's not my fault.

One fewer prep (and really, it's not, since it's an advanced class and will require differentiation) is not worth my current level of anxiety. Careful what you wish for.

I agree with the program change in general. There were way too many kids straight-out skipping a grade of math under our old system, and only the cream of the crop can handle that. But I wish this had been decided, you know, A MONTH OR TWO AGO.

More PTSD flashbacks from a year ago when schedules were being changed, and students got very angry, at a school where student anger led directly to on-campus (and sometimes in-classroom) violence.

I know I'm not at that school anymore, but I'm scared.

2008-09-09T17:48:00.000-07:00

Maybe we ought to set the bar a little lower for smart 7th graders and a LOT higher for math teachers

It was a good day. (Didn't even have to use my AK, etc.) Period 6 took a chill pill and Period 5 is getting better. I'm ignoring the biggest troublemaker and the students are starting to catch on that they should ignore him, too. Math was learned (on their part), names were learned (on my part; need to go faster though) and I'm almost done with the beginning-of-year setup.

Enter the department meeting.

There is a lot of politics at school this year. I won't bore you with it, as I don't really care about it myself. One of the big issues that actually interests me is the 7th grade algebra/8th grade geometry program. We're discussing whether letting these students skip 7th grade math is a good idea. The data says it isn't. Supposedly other data says it's fine. Supposedly this works fine at other schools in similar communities. Or maybe it works well when class sizes are smaller and the kids are more carefully chosen. If you've got any data on this subject, let me know before we do something stupid.

It seemed like the admins just may care more about our standardized test scores than they do about the students, but then, we kind of knew that. And by "we" I mean teachers everywhere.

I contributed to the discussion 3 times, all of which were ill-prepared and likely ill-advised.
1) I said that based on my limited experience with these kids, "smart" is not the same thing as "prepared" and this program doesn't seem to be doing them any favors (based on not just standardized test scores but grades.)
2) Upon learning that we may scrap the program THIS WEEK -- as in, the kids turn in their books and are now taking Math 7 instead of algebra -- I noted that this level of disruption when the school year has already begun does not sound like the best idea ever.
3) After some pondering from other staff about possible reasons this program works at other schools, I noted that maybe the teaching has something to do with it, since I'm an inexperienced know-nothing and yet I've been given this special population to deal with and do not exactly expect to be able to best serve their needs. I am one of only three teachers with a 7th grade algebra class and I'm not sure what they were smoking when this was decided. (Not, of course, a direct quote.)

After the meeting, three different veteran teachers approached me. One didn't say anything notable but he did have sympathy, which was appreciated. Another said something like, "Don't get discouraged. Lots of teachers fight for honors classes but you're going to be better at it." More ridiculously positive feedback from someone who's NEVER SEEN ME TEACH. Where are these people getting their info? Like when I was told I was one of the better teachers on staff I'm left with the choice of a) these people are blowing smoke up my ass or b) I have not yet grokked the horribleness of many of the other teachers at my school.

I'm not denigrating myself for the hell of it. I'm not a BAD teacher. I'm actually getting pretty competent. But all I do is PowerPoints and the occasional project. I'm not exactly rocking any worlds here. I've all but stopped reading math teacher blogs for the moment because I can't begin to compare with the level of ingenuity and rigor they describe and I'd rather not spend my spare websurfing time feeling inadequate.

Anyway, the third veteran teacher, after we got to talking, made it sound like he has worse discipline problems than I do. I hope this doesn't bear out the second teacher's point.

2008-09-05T16:52:00.001-07:00

What I can deal with from 7th graders, an incomplete list:
* fart jokes
* "this one time..." stories
* off-topic questions
* a disposition to giggle at any word or phrase that could remotely be construed as sexual
* drumming (I redirect it from the desk to the leg)
* fidgeting (as long as they're staying in their seats, which they are)
* doodling (this is not disruptive)
* their adorable little attitudes (they have no idea how much more than this it takes to get a rise out of me)
* their complete lack of tact (the candor is actually refreshing)

What I am having trouble dealing with from 7th graders, a complete list:
* the hyperactivity level after lunch
* having to raise my voice for attention after lunch (I swear I'm about to bring in a whistle)
* the distinct suspicion that my gifted kids think they're above all this

Considering that by this time last year I had open Crip/Blood gang tensions in class and had already had a student call me stupid, threaten me, and walk out of the room, I should not complain.

2008-09-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

Grade your morning at lunch: first in a series of tips on how I will save my sanity this year

Things are looking up a little today.

When I was chatting with the science teacher on my team yesterday, I saw him go to his attendance roster and give each class a letter grade based on how it went. I decided to take this idea for myself, but do it right after every class, or in the last few minutes. Part of my problem with teaching has been that afternoon classes are notoriously difficult, especially in middle school, so I left school yesterday in a horrible mood that didn't properly reflect my decent morning.

My full-class report cards look like this:
Period 1 ESL Math: A- (impressive, since their lack of understanding must be frustrating)
Period 3 Math 7: A/A- (really good, but there is always room for improvement)
Period 4 Math 7: A- (I love this class already. They have great questions and are fun. It's up to me to keep it focused.)
Lunch: F (Students are out there eating a bunch of sugar and making themselves unmanageable for the afternoon)
Period 5: C- (an improvement from yesterday)
Period 6: C (time for a new seating chart)

Grading the compartments of my job to look at later has improved my mood, and I recommend it to any teacher whose period 5 and/or 6 sucks -- not to mention anyone whose job gets rougher at a certain point in the day.

2008-09-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

I don't want to make excuses. There are great teachers at my school who have the kids well in hand, and I am not a great teacher yet. I certainly don't want to demonize my students. They're decent kids. Really nice kids, for the most part. "Bad" = "talks too much" or "blurts out inappropriately." Because, you know, they're 12. No one is going to hurt me and chances are they're not even going to hurt each other (in class.)

However.

I am feeling the weight of what I've signed up to do. Again. I'd previously seen a bunch of names and numbers and made seating charts from them, but nothing really compares to coming face-to-face with, oh, almost 150 new people in one day. Especially when it seems like every one is squirming, interjecting, side-talking and/or trying to get one over on you.

I had a laugh the other day looking at DonorsChoose.org and their definition of a high-poverty school -- one in which at least 40% of the student body qualified for free lunch. Forty? En serio? Every single one of my students is Title 1 (teacher jargon -- it means they're poor). My school isn't 100% on the free/reduced lunch thing, but I suspect that's because some kids never bring the forms back.

Okay, so they're poor. This presents some issues Maslow-wise but effectively proves nothing. So they're 12. It's an energy level I'm not used to but if I could regulate on 8th graders I'm sure I can whoop these 7th graders into shape.

In addition, many of my students struggle with English, have learning disabilities, or do not know how to behave in a classroom -- or some frothy mix of two or all three. And then there's the gifted kids. Just like all the children of Lake Wobegon are above average, I feel like the only teachers dealing with more "special populations" than I am are the actual special education teachers -- and their classes are 1/3 the size of mine.

I'm probably making too big a deal of things. It's just that I expected to come into year 2 and kick major ass. There were plenty of times when I looked out on the room like, wow, these kids are actually listening to me, not talking, etc. And one of the two activities I did today went fine (the other, upon reflection, may have been a bit much for 7th graders). I'm just worried about the kids who don't even have their shit together on day 1, when we're not even doing math yet. I can only hope the excitement level of day 1 didn't help matters. They were changing classes for the first time.

Unsurprisingly, I've already learned that my most annoying student has an ineffectual mother who is not worth calling. Another laugh at all those experts and edubloggers giving advice that is probably great for schools a bit less "special." Parent contact works wonders? Clearly they don't work at my school.

I'm off to make a new seating chart for Period 5 ~~smartass~~ gifted algebra, and continue translating materials into Spanish to avoid some of the blank looks I got in ESL Math today. This semester is really going to kick my butt. Or, my nalgas. Am I bilingual yet?

2008-09-02T17:00:00.000-07:00

No more staff development! Hooray! That's no more sweltering school library, and no more of the same strident people monopolizing every discussion! Hooray! Am I ready for the kids to show up tomorrow? I don't know! Hooray!

I'd like to start the Not Too Late To Change The Name school year with an off-color joke. Well, it's not SO bad...I learned it when my master teacher (the veteran teacher you student teach with) told it to a 10th grade geometry class -- though I wouldn't have. I gave myself a giggle replicating it on my classroom whiteboard and taking photos. I intend to keep my sense of humor this year.

***

One day, the teacher comes into class after the bell and sees this written on the board:

She was puzzled. "What's the meaning of this? Who wrote this?" she asks.

Jimmy raises his hand and says, "I wrote it. It means 'for the teacher, 1 apple.'" With that, Jimmy gives the teacher an apple. What a brown-nose.

Well, this must have given the other kids an idea, because the next day, the teacher comes in and this is on the board:

"Alright, who wrote that and what does it mean?" asks the teacher. Jessica raises her hand and says, "For the teacher, 1 orange" and gives the teacher an orange.

Now, the teacher isn't completely slow, and she's wondering what she's going to get on day 3. However, she's surprised to walk into class and see this:

"WHAT? Who's responsible for this?" she asks.

Juan raises his hand. "It was me, miss," he says. "From us Chicano kids, 1 taco!"

2008-09-01T09:39:00.001-07:00

Happy Labor Day! This about sums it up:

2008-08-29T10:26:00.000-07:00

Greatest hits of my offline written "reflection on practice" (uh, ranting and panicking) of the last two days:
* "Not as good: listening to people bicker about whether it's okay for kids to hold hands in the hall. These guys are from England and who gives a shit?"
* "These first-years at [current school] don't know how good they have it. Part of me resents them for it, and then I understand why people at [Crazy-Ass High] were so good at giving vague, inapplicable, or terrible advice, or telling me to suck it up and deal: they didn't see why my first year should suck any less than theirs did."
* "You know I will go crazy if you refer to my 99% Latino school as 'diverse,' right?"
* "Holy cow, period 4 is a sausagefest."
* "Sure they're just kids, but 30 to 1 is not a fair fight."
* "I read all this advice for teachers and it's all about how to slow down, not try to be a hero, not take work home, have a life. I need to work harder. Smarter, harder, AND longer."

But, perhaps most importantly:
"As it turns out, I do know my ass from my elbow quite a bit more than a first-year teacher."

2008-08-28T15:45:00.000-07:00

I've now seen this at least three times, so I shall jump on the bandwagon. It beats yet another report on my school prep, right? There are a few things on here I feel like I must have eaten at some point, but I can't be sure. Much of it makes a heck of a to-do list.
*************************
The Omnivore's Hundred

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you�ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat�s milk (does goat cheese count?)
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth �60/$120 or more
46. Fugu (I am close to crossing this out, only because it's supposed to be not that great for something that could kill you if prepared improperly)
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald�s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S�mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs� legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
~~75. Roadkill~~
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Oh well, at least I'm more than halfway through it...

2008-08-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

I survived the 6am alarm

Day 1 of my re-entry into the world of productive working citizens. Staff development. Could have been worse. Could have been better (if the air conditioning in the library had worked).

Some people were missing, but I spent most of my morning with most of the 7th grade math teachers. The team includes two multi-year veteran teachers I feel good about. One of the "new" teachers is actually a former 6th grade teacher who's simply new as a math teacher. Our actual first-year teacher, I predict, will be fine. I mean, his first year will be tough like everyone else's was, but my initial gut feeling is that the kids won't chew him up and spit him out like they supposedly did to the guy I replaced last year.

Here's why I'm teaching three subjects (Math 7, 7th grade algebra, and ESL Math) and why it's not as bad as I thought (though I am still not happy):
* ESL Math is NOT the class conducted in Spanish. Unfortunately, that means it wasn't a mistake.
* ESL Math is the same content as Math 7, so it's not really a whole new subject to prep for.
* The language ability of the kids is still a mystery, but I will have a bilingual aide
* Looking around the department meeting, I realized there are very few native Spanish speakers on hand, so I'm no worse than most to deal with ESL kids, since the class is in English
* There's no weaseling out of gifted algebra, either, because it was an administrative decision to have one per PLE (PLEs = groups our school is divided into)
* Once you take away all the special factors -- who's a first-year teacher, who's teaching in the magnet, who's teaching special ed -- there are really not so many math teachers left to shaft with multiple preps (ie subjects to teach). And our department chair, on top of being the chair, has three, so I really shouldn't bitch.

I can't quite shake the feeling that I am not ready, on a level that extends beyond not having lessons planned beyond the first week. Yet I know that if I lack confidence, the students will know. I've got less than a week to psych up. I keep telling myself I'm not a first-year teacher anymore, but I can't help but wonder if the first year I did have is even worse than a blank slate.

2008-08-25T14:01:00.000-07:00

Confession

I didn't plan as much as I'd wanted to this summer. I will start the school year at a staff day Wednesday by trying, most likely unsuccessfully, to weasel out of one of the three subjects I'm supposed to be teaching. We've got a new principal I know nothing about. I didn't work on my Spanish this summer like I wanted to. And I don't really want to go back to work.

You heard me. I don't want to go back. Bad teacher, no apple. I've still got books to read and food to cook. The weather is just now breaking enough to be decent hiking weather. I don't want to go to bed by 10pm and wake up by 6am. I don't want to balance my new gym routine with a demanding job. I don't want to start falling asleep at parties again. Why oh why did I enter a career that encroaches so mightily on my non-work time? Wah wah wah. Poor pitiful me. I know. Shut up, you just had two months off.

I just wish I could be one of those teachers who can't wait to start the year. I wish I was truly over everything that happened to me at Crazy-Ass High last fall. I wish I had a pony. Wah wah wah.

Regardless of my level of enthusiasm, it's coming, and coming soon. My primary goal, more than last-minute lesson planning, is to chill out and be ready for it. They taught me how to plan a lesson and a unit in the credentialing program. What they didn't teach me was how to be a teacher without losing my mind. If I can't figure that out this year, my second year will likely be my last.

Breathe...