Okay, the majority of the people who took the poll -- though not all of them -- would guess that someone named "Jackie" is a woman. That's what I'd pick. I've known a lot of females named Jacqueline who went by "Jackie," but no males named Jack who did. I mean, Jackie Robinson and Jackie Wilson, but none I've actually met.

To make a long story as short as possible, I was out on Friday with a mixed-gender (and mixed race, and mixed generation) crowd. Someone was told that "Ryan, Craig, Jackie, and Rick" were celebrating their science PhDs, and she assumed they were all men. Dr. Jackie is in fact, Dr. Jacqueline. Since I see "Jackie" as a female name, I got more than a little pissed off that such an assumption is still being made in the year 2009 -- by a woman, no less. I think at minimum she should have asked whether they were all guys before assuming. Hell, she asked if any of them were single, so she clearly wasn't above asking for more info.

I may have overreacted, but I think the aphorism about "an ASS out of U and ME" still applies.

In which Jen overreacts to her socks

There are some items I don't buy very often. Socks are among these items. However, I recently threw out several pairs with holes to big to further ignore. I was at the drugstore picking up a prescription recently, happened to notice socks for sale, and grabbed some.

I didn't think much about this purchase. They're SOCKS. This shouldn't be complicated.

The first two pairs were fine for lounging about the house, which is all you should be doing in low-cut white socks anyway. The third pair, on their FIRST wearing, busted this lovely hole by nightfall.

Muttering about fine sweatshop quality, I consulted the packaging: Yep. Made in China. Well, you get what you pay for.

The recession started a long, long time ago. It's not just that the clothes are made in China, but the cars are made in Mexico, the software code is made in India, and blah blah blah you get my point already. What do we actually make in this country anymore, except weak beer and corn syrupy food? (Oh, and don't forget ill-prepared students.)

I need to learn how to knit.

In hard times, tent cities rise across the country

"Nearly 61 percent of local and state homeless coalitions say they've experienced a rise in homelessness since the foreclosure crisis began in 2007, according to a report by the National Coalition for the Homeless.

"The Department of Housing and Urban Development recently reported a 12 percent drop in homelessness nationally in two years, from about 754,000 in January 2005 to 666,000 in January 2007. But the 2007 numbers omitted people who previously had been considered homeless — such as those staying with relatives or friends or living in campgrounds or motel rooms for more than a week.

"In addition, the housing and economic crisis began soon after HUD's most recent data was compiled.

"The data predates the housing crisis," said Brian Sullivan, a spokesman for HUD. "From the headlines, it might appear that the report is about yesterday. How is the housing situation affecting homelessness? That's a great question. We're still trying to get to that."

Small rant based on something I just read that I don't feel like stirring up with the people who wrote it:

Los Feliz is NOT "East Los Angeles." For you Bostonians, that's like some transplanted yuppie idiot calling the Back Bay "south Boston" because it's south of downtown and he has no concept that there is an actual neighborhood called South Boston (that has poor people, so he will never go there). Los Feliz is not east of downtown, the 110 freeway, or the LA River -- all disputed boundaries of what constitutes "the eastside." It is merely east of all the predominantly white neighborhoods. That doesn't make it East Los Angeles. Someone smack these people upside the head with a bottle of Jarritos.

Rant #2: Most of the people who'd agree with me on the above point think I'm a douchebag solely because I live on the west side of town and did not grow up in this area. Also because (insert one or both based on demographics of Angeleno) a) I am white and/or b) I do not own a bicycle or listen to NPR, and I eat meat.

I'm so sick of this place, from every possible angle.

People are rude

I was at the library just now, and the guy checking out my books asked me, "Do you work for Google?" It took me a second to get it, then I realized I was wearing a Google t-shirt. I told him I didn't.

"You should get paid for advertising for them," he said.

I said the first thing which popped into my mind, which was, "I got this shirt for free, so I figure I broke even." He said, "Oh," as though I'd deflated some sort of freshman-in-college anti-consumerist argument he was trying to make.

I just got as far as looking up the library's phone number and letting it ring twice, but have decided to complain here instead, since it's not my place to get the guy in trouble at work for being a PC wanna-be-east-coast moron. I will rant about it here, though.

At what point did it become okay for a person who works with the public to comment on what the public is wearing? For all he knows, I'm poor and simply trying to select the least tacky $1.39 t-shrits from Goodwill. Actually, it doesn't matter what he knows, no one has any right to comment on what I'm wearing, yet it seems to happen with annoying regularity (though usually, in LA, people tell me I'm dressing shittily -- ALSO annoying when you're poor, or still wearing the results of recently being poor -- rather than criticizing me for wearing a logo.)

It's doubly irritating because I myself am very anti-corporate. I was recently told I'm a pinko commie even by the standards of European socialists. It's not like I'm wearing designer shit that says "HOLLISTER" or "JUICY" (or whatever the fuck the kids are wearing today) in big letters. I do occasionally wear shirts bearing a corporate logo, but only if I genuinely support the business and only if it was cheap or free. Either way, it's none of this guy's business. Check out my books and leave me alone.

God, how I've not missed that strident Bostonian "I'm more liberal than you are" asshole-ery. I'm reminded of the total stranger at a party once who, upon asking what I did for a living and me answering, said, "You don't work for a nonprofit? What are you, SELFISH?" Not to mention all the times in college I heard how stupid and/or narrow-minded I was for being heterosexual and/or monogamous.

Now fuck off and leave me and my Google t-shirt, my heterosexual marriage, and my mostly-corporate resume alone. You're better than me? Good for you. I'm a tool? Okay, sure. Keep it to yourself unless I ask for your opinion.

Graphical representation of the rise of obesity in the United States since 1990

Any comment I could make sounds like a conspiracy theory about corporate agribusiness or a slam on mainstream American culture, so I'll let the info speak for itself. I will, however, say that I have been overweight myself in the past and I am in no way hating on any individual with a higher-than-healthy BMI.

I will also say: I hit the gym pretty consistently and eat pretty healthy and am still pudgier than I was in Germany, where I never exercised and consumed mass quantities of beer and rich food, yet still effortlessly lost about 15 pounds.

I don't have anything cogent to say about Superme Court school segregation business. Really, it doesn't affect anything for me. I already work at segregated schools so that's that.

Maybe I'll just tell some more stories about the realities of urban schools that wouldn't fly in a white school. Not because poor nonwhite parents don't care about their kids, but they're working too hard cleaning white parents' pools/gardens/kitchens/baby's butts to have a lot of time to advocate or fundraise for the neighborhood schools. And not to say there aren't a lot of poor white people in the US -- there are -- but almost all poor people in LA with school-aged kids aren't white and that's the only segregated situation I can speak to personally.

Here's one that came up recently: the schools I've worked in don't have full-time school nurses. I figured this out first when I was tutoring. Some of my kids really couldn't read too well. Some, however, simply couldn't see what they were reading. I would ask if they had glasses, and some of them did but didn't wear them (can't find them, they're too old and don't work anymore anyway, or the shrug which simply means "I'm too cool to wear glasses"). Some didn't have glasses, and I asked them when was the last time they got their eyes checked.

"Huh?"

"You know, that test where you cover one eye and say which way the letter is facing?"

"Uh..."

They were also unfamiliar with the test where you have to raise your hand to say which ear the sound is in. "We don't have a nurse," one third-grader told me, seeming amused by the idea. It doesn't take a genius to think back on your own middle-class school days and see what these kids probably aren't getting. No lice checks, no scoliosis checks, no nothing. And in the communities LEAST likely to have other resources for adequate medical care. If you think your health insurance gives you the runaround, try the clinic. For a lot of families, there's no such thing as a routine checkup.

Rick asked what you do, as a teacher, when the school nurse isn't there and you have an issue. First thing is you've got to have bandaids on hand, since that's the number one thing kids are going to want. Most issues that come up in school will be of the bandaid variety. This also removes the excuse of kids claiming a hangnail or a papercut or whatever just because they want to leave the room.

I'll keep some feminine hygiene products around. Can't count on the machines in the girls' room being reliable.

I have an asthma inhaler, so I suppose if a kid is wheezing hardcore I'll give it to him. This isn't really a community where a parent will sue me if it's the wrong brand.

Beyond that, what do you do if there's a serious issue? Like the kid is throwing up, really sick? Call home for a pickup. No one's home? Kid stays in class, or maybe waits in the main office until someone can be reached. REALLY serious issue? Call 911 and the kid goes to Killer King. I mean, I know basic first aid -- god help me, I worked at an all-blacktop inner-city summer camp-- but I'm not a professional.

I do know that if someone gets stabbed, to leave the knife in there until the EMTs come. With any luck, I will never need this knowledge.

But yeah, call the schools segregated or desegregated, all I know is what I see and how it differs from the predominantly white schools I attended. Science classrooms with no lab equipment. ESL classes (with parents even less likely to complain, get it?) in the auto shop; auto classes watching videos instead of working on cars. Music classes with kids just milling around because there aren't enough instruments. All kinds of classes watching unrelated movies -- free time for students AND teacher. Classes in unheated trailers in January when it's 40 degrees outside in the morning. Classes in rooms with no windows or air conditioning in July when it's 100 out in the afternoon. 5000+ kid schools with like 8 white kids, all in the magnet program. We've got kids who are still growing skipping lunch because the lines are so long, and/or the food is so substandard. The Burger King they can get if they wait til 3 is delicious and possibly even nutritious in comparison to what passes for meat in the LA schools. On that subject, did you know LA high school students get their cafeteria milk in a plastic bag?

The Supreme Court can segregate or desegregate or dance the tango naked down the 10 freeway. It's not going to make a difference for my students until we stop spending all our national money on wars (which these poorly-educated kids will fight for us) and start giving poor students -- white or not, urban or rural -- the same chances kids in the suburbs get. Let's START with having them cover their right eye and tell which way the "E" is facing. It seems like the least the richest country in the world could do.

I hate the laundromat. It's only 50 cents per wash, so I know I'm costing myself money every time I use the machine in my apartment building, but I don't care. It's worth it. I hate the laundromat SO much. But today I had to go. Bless my more patient spouse for going to the godforsaken place as often as he does (knowing my hate of the laundromat, he tends to be the one to do the big loads like comforters) because I am ready to do violence.

Today, I hated it more than usual because not only was it one million degrees in there, not only did I get hustled and panhandled (hey, people, if I had money would I be HERE?), not only were there the requisite screaming kids and indifferent mothers...TWO different people stole my newspaper.

I don't know if you can say "stole" about something that's free. But I walked down to the post office during my wash to get an LA Weekly, thus it is mine. The first time I noticed it missing I had just moved my laundry from the washer to the dryer. I approached the woman who was reading it and asked if I could have it back. She pretended I was asking for the phone book next to her. No, the newspaper. I offered her another newspaper that was lying around and she reluctantly gave it up.

The next time, I was checking on my dryer load and I found yet another woman reading my LA Weekly when I returned. Not wanting another confrontation, I just waited for HER dryer load to run out and then took the paper and put it in my car.

I know this is petty, and I know there is often public-domain reading material strewn around places like laundromats, but both times it was clearly with my stuff and open to the middle of an article. It was obvious to anyone that the newspaper was in my possession and I was in the middle of reading it.

All the more irritating because whenever I take a bus in this town, I'm the only one reading. Whenever I go to the library, it seems like everyone's on the computer. LA suddenly learns to read, and it wants to read only MY reading material.

It was sad, and shocking, but...what she said.

I'm rockin' the suburbs, just like William Mulholland did

(I've fixed the river photos that had mysteriously disappeared in the last 24 hours. Onward...)

What Chicago really brought to the forefront is how starved I am for urban living. I can't claim to know NYC intimately, as I haven't spent enough time there as an adult, but Chicago struck me as a smaller, more laid-back New York City. (Or an exciting Boston, if I want to irritate all my Boston readers.) Don't get me wrong -- I appreciate what LA has to offer, but Chicago seemed to have almost as much to offer without all the associated suburban sprawl horrors that make my life here less than pleasant overall. To wit: driving, traffic, crappy transit, wasteful rich assholes, driving, unfriendly pedestrian access and general lack of pedestrian life, ugly buildings, driving, street layouts that make you want to bang your head against the wall and require you to drive with a book-sized collection of maps, did I mention driving?

Chicago makes sense. Starting at O'Hare, you collect your baggage and wonder how to get to town, and then you realize the subway goes right up into the airport. (Unlike LA, where the subway is a bus and then a shuttle away from the airport, and the subway is a joke to begin with). We changed from the El to a bus, bought coffee at a bilingual coffee shop and felt at home, but then got onto a bus that actually worked and got us within two blocks of where we were going and we felt disoriented by how easy it was.

After dropping off our stuff, we went to CVS to buy some water, and I got a copy of the homeless newspaper from a vendor out front. Chicago and even Boston beat LA here. Why don't we have a homeless paper? Either it doesn't make sense that we lack one, or it makes perfect sense because no one reads and no one cares about the homeless, and I'm pissed off either way.

Did I mention our friends in Chicago live above commercial space? How cool is that? It's the $7 haircut place, but still, mixed-use development makes me drool.

What else...there's a well-defined city center that seems easy to reach by public transit from anywhere in the city. Neighborhoods are distinct and have character. The bike paths do not fade out in seemingly random locations and neither do sidewalks. Streets are laid out in a logical fashion -- in LA, you can't assume that the 2400 block of a street is directly accessible from the 5200 block of the same street because someone might have stuck a blocks-wide building in the middle. And although it was too cold to know for sure, I doubt that even in the spring you will see anyone a) washing the sidewalk instead of sweeping it or b) setting up sprinklers to water the sidewalk as well as the lawn. Actually, who has a lawn in the city of Chicago? After all my effort to move into a city after college, I've found myself in the biggest suburb on the planet.

Now, let's not go crazy. Chicago isn't perfect. It's racially segregated (so is LA), the public housing situation and the gentrification work together to create multiple problems, and much of the El isn't ADA-compliant. They're working on at least the last one. The Rockwell station on the Brown line has been recently renovated and is now more wheelchair-friendly, too. There is also an indoor, heated waiting area so clean I got a napkin and wiped up after myself when I dropped some cream cheese off my bagel.

Yes, LA is diverse and cosmopolitan and polyglot and that's why I stay interested and that's why so many people love it here. So it's depressing to go to a city that is so much better on so many levels and still has tamale street vendors, flags of many nations, trilingual business signs, and exotic cuisine at reasonable prices. Plus, you can stumble on cool things about the city rather than having to seek them out (in a car) amid miles and miles of bland suburban crap.

Stay positive, Jen. LA has some things that "real cities" don't. We've got the ocean, and the mountains, and decent weather year 'round. And...hmm. We're near the desert! And a five-hour drive to San Francisco if you leave at 5am! It's...hmm.

Oh well. Only 2 more years.