I'm with Coco, but I'm not exactly crying over it

I wanted to be well-informed again, but be careful what you wish for. I am suffering from extreme Haiti and Massachusetts senator fatigue. (And yes, I donated some money to Doctors Without Borders. And yes, YES, I knew Haiti was in trouble before this earthquake and I also give to local charities. I also have "why do people wait until a tragedy to help?" and "what about the problems in our own backyard?" fatigue. Making people feel guilty for giving to charity? Huh? Shut up already.)

In much lighter news, I've been watching Conan for the last couple weeks. I've always thought he was pretty funny, and watched the Late Show (and this year, the Tonight Show) occasionally (or at least fast forwarded to Triumph or Year 2000/3000). I've very much enjoyed his mockery of LA and Twitter this year. But knowing he's got nothing to lose has made him particularly awesome these few weeks. Not everyone gets to go out on top like Conan will.

In short, I think Conan is funny, Leno is not funny, and therefore NBC is dumb. That Leno prime time show seemed like a bad idea from the start, even to me, and I don't know much about the TV industry.

It's nice to see Conan stand up for himself/the Tonight Show/Jimmy Fallon, but it's even nicer that at least once per show he reminds people that there are real problems in the world and this silly showbiz kerfluffle isn't one of them. On that note: really, people are demonstrating in the street over this? There should have been riots all through the Bush administration, then. (Do I sound like one of those preachy "donating after an earthquake isn't enough" people now? Sorry...)

It's hard to feel too, too bad for Conan. His career is surely not over, and $45 million is a really shiny golden parachute. Leno can have my job for $45 million. On the other hand, I've relocated for a job and then had the job disappear, so that really does suck, and I hope everyone involved with the show got enough severance to move back to NY if that's what they want.

Finally, I know basic cable is considered a demotion from network, but watch this and tell me Conan wouldn't be happier at Comedy Central anyway:

Conan O'Brien Plays Rock Band

When I was teaching, I gave up/lost a lot of outside interests. This was partially due to the time demands of the job, partially due to the single-minded focus that plagues new teachers intent on not fracking it up, and, later, due to what I now recognize as severe depression. So it goes.

Some of these interests were easy to pick up again. As soon as I left the LAUSD, I bought my self a "Congratulations On Quitting The Worst Job In The World" subscription to the New York Times crossword. It's taken a little longer to be well-informed about politics again. Much like there are very few comedies left in my Netflix queue because that's usually all I could handle watching while I was busy living a bad inner-city teacher movie, I couldn't stomach much politics during 2008 and 9. I tried very hard to have an informed opinion during the presidential election, of course, but I'm sorry to say I let it slide once my decision was made.

Lately, I've tried to read up on politics again, both in the mainstream print media and in some political blogs. I'm reading two liberal/progressive blogs (which might be one too many, since they say the same things) and one libertarian blog (not because I'm a libertarian, but because they're the only reasonable challenge to my commie pinko beliefs since the Republican party got taken over by the Wingnut Brigade). If any of my conservative friends would like to recommend a conservative news source that will make me say, "I disagree, but that's interesting" rather than "ARE YOU PEOPLE BRAIN-DAMAGED?!?" I will check it out.

I got to/had to watch some mainstream TV news over Christmas break. I'm glad my f-i-l no longer watches Fox News, but network news isn't much better. Lots of fear-mongering, little information, and no analysis. Compared to this facile crap, the Daily Show *is* hard-hitting journalism -- but I still wish people would stop making liberals look dumb by proudly stating that it's their only news source and all they need. (I do like the Daily Show, and I'll say its political satire is better than consuming no news content at all *and* better than mainstream TV news, but no replacement for in-depth print pieces.)

Anyway, I'm glad I'm paying attention again, because otherwise I would have missed gems like Rudy Giuliani saying we never had a domestic terror attack under Bush. What HUH? And it's not the first time that talking point has been put on TV.

So not only did Saddam Hussein blow up the WTC, he did it under Clinton. Awesome. I'll be at Netflix.com looking for more comedies.

We interrupt this blog to bring you intense celebrity jealousy

"Sardinia's the kind of place you better know somebody. The bumper stickers around here proudly proclaim, 'This is not Italy.' And they're not kidding. It's an island. Six to seven hours by boat west of central Italy, with its own language, its own culture, a tradition of isolation, clannishness, a place where people still only half-jokingly tell you there are bandits in the next village." -- Anthony Bourdain, "No Reservations." Who has stinkin' Sardinian in-laws to hook him up with farmer cheese and home-cured meat. Wah, not fair.

As always, I'm sad to lack the hook-ups afforded by working for the Travel Channel, but it's nice to be validated. I've been to Sardinia, I didn't know anybody, and it was a tough nut to crack. It was probably the only place I've traveled where I failed to have a conversation with a single local person. It's definitely the only time I've been refused service -- even though I ordered in Italian.

Insularity, aloofness, and anti-Americanism aside, at least the place is pretty. Well, some of it. Did someone say "20% unemployment?"

My New Years' resolution is to better embody Gonzo's philosophy of life:

Because, what day can't be improved by Gilda Radner and singing veg?

Happy weekend. Have some funk
Al Green, "Here I Am (Come and Take Me)" [video]

Watch it quick before the copyright police take it down, as they tend to with classic clips from this particular show. And if you see UB40, kick them up the arse for me.

Good on so, so many levels
[video]

Daily Show does it again. The current events commentary is excellent, as always, but I think my favorite part is the "pretty girl?" exchange.

I'm celebrating July 4th with a great piece of American history, the first episode of Saturday Night Live. I've tried to watch it twice and fallen asleep both times (no reflection on the quality of the show, it's just what I do). NBC reran it in honor of Carlin, because he was the host.

There are many things to comment on, but one of the funnier things in retrospect was the spoof commercial for the Triple Track razor. Sadly, I can't find a clip online, but it advertises a three-blade razor, AS A JOKE, complete with an animation of how the three blades attack one hapless piece of stubble. The SNL tagline for it was: "Because you'll believe anything."

Later, when the three-blade razor actually existed, The Onion ran the piece, Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades. Of course, that product now exists, too.

What's next? 16 blades!
[video]

Everybody Hates Ms. M

Bad news: Full school day. What's up with that? Who goes to school until 3pm the day before Thanksgiving?

Good news: I have a new LCD projector. It's a fancy one that also has a document reader and it's worth more than my laptop. I'm already using it to integrate technology into the classroom in a culturally relevant way, ie we're watching "Everybody Hates Chris" today.

Better news: The kid who stole all the projectors has been kicked out of school, and a teacher got a tipoff about which pawn shop the projectors may be in. Sweet.

Bad news: The hall hasn't been rekeyed even though 6 rooms have been broken into with no sign of forced entry. The only way I can have this projector is to disconnect it and take it home every single day, in a ginormous gray carrying case too big to go on an airplane as carry-on luggage.

More bad news: I still lack a class set of calculators, and all the materials I can find for next week's geometry unit assume calculator use (how else do you take non-perfect square roots to the nearest hundredth?) Time to make more worksheets from scratch.

Good news: The kid whose mother was supposed to sit in class with her in period 1 didn't show up, so I taught for the 10 minutes I'd originally wanted to and then we watched "Everybody Hates Chris" as planned.

Bad news: It's the day before Thanksgiving, but I probably shouldn't already be the kind of teacher who shows a DVD instead of teaching.

Bad news: I was supposed to have a meeting with a counselor and some other teachers about one of my students period 2, and I was the only one who showed up. Oh well, the teacher next door showed "Everybody Hates Chris" as well as I could have.

Good news: Kevin's parents came in for a conference. He's stopped the Crip talk -- in fact, he told me he's stopped bangin', but I'm not sure I buy it -- so I didn't fill them in on that old news. Why bother when there are so many CURRENT issues to air? I gave them a bunch of make-up work (dad claims he knows his algebra) and some choice info about his lack of impulse control and inability to stay in his seat and pull up his pants. I was also sure to say that he's personable, has good attendance, is respectful to me, and makes an effort SOME days. Mom works nights and volunteered to come sit in class with him if the nonsense continues. Awesome!

More good news: A staff member who visited yesterday agrees that my entire afternoon line-up is off the wall, and more importantly, that it's not my fault.

Also: The "Everybody Hates Math" episode of "Everybody Hates Chris" is pretty funny.

Best news: FOUR DAYS OFF! I've got to grade and plan, but...FOUR DAYS OFF! FOUR DAYS OFF!

Wayback machine YouTube extravaganza!

I remember hearing in 1989 that the funny cartoons on The Tracey Ullman Show were going to get their own show. Even more exciting when I figured out that the guy behind it also did Life In Hell in the Village Voice. The new show, of course, was the Simpsons. Here's early Bart and Lisa in a burping contest:


I also recall visiting some friends in early 1997 and being told to sit on the couch immediately because they had a videotape I *needed* to see. That, in fact, everyone in the world needed to see IMMEDIATELY. The tape was a many-generations-later dub of The Spirit of Christmas, ie Jesus vs. Santa. "No not ham, you fat fuck" and "Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here" are embedded in my vocabulary to this day. Imagine my glee (and alarm) several months later when I found out the Spirit of Christmas guys got their own show. This show was South Park. Here's the Jesus/Santa throwdown:


I just learned today, through the power of Wikipedia, that the South Park dudes did a student film also called The Spirit of Christmas, aka Jesus vs. Frosty. I bring it to you now through the power of YouTube:


However, you can't talk about cartoons without a shoutout to the granddaddy of them all, Warner Bros. This classic is from 194-frickin'-9, yo:

more good marketing for the simpsons movie
Originally uploaded by jmuehlbauer

The marketing for the Simpsons movie continues to be so good I want to reward them with a ticket sale, even though I haven't been much of a Simpsons fan since high school. Plus, anything that makes Matt Groening a buck is fine with me.

Make your own avatar and otherwise waste your time at Simpsonsmovie.com


Update: Who says PBS isn't cool? My pal who works for NewsHour with Jim Lehrer convinced the powers that be to run a piece on the Simpsons movie on tonight's show, 7/27. Set your Tivo!

I'm a big girl now, I'm five

There is something I love about the aesthetic (if one can call it that) of the late 70s and early 80s. Early Muppet Show, early Sesame Street, current episodes of Mexican reality-dance shows...maybe it's because I didn't start going to school until fall of 1980 and, according to my second grade diary, didn't truly start to crack until early 1983. I used to think I didn't miss my childhood, but plop me down in front of some shitty TV show from 1978 and I'm happy as a clam.

Tivo, my Robot VCR(tm), has started to figure this out. Perhaps based on my addiction to the aforementioned Mexican reality-dance show (and the fact that I thumbs-down any recommendation of modern fare such as American Idol), Tivo recently suggested Soul Train. Oh hell yes. This would be the original series, being rerun on the new Frankenstein basic cabel network "the CW" (kill me) as The Best of Soul Train. The two episodes I've caught so far are from season 9, the spring of 1980, right about when I was learning how to spell my last name.

The spandex! The legwarmers! The sequins! The disco! The toddler-friendly colors! Oh, what a joy old Soul Train is, even today. ESPECIALLY today. I can imagine four-year-old me grooving with the Soul Train Dancers in suburbia while my parents, not for the last time, wondered if there'd been a mixup at the hospital.

Basic cable can feel free to start rerunning the best of Dance Fever and the best of Solid Gold while they're at it.

Here I am in late 1979 in a sparkly-thread shirt that would have done Soul Train proud. Jewish community nursery school, holla!