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 If You've Been Raped

No matter how powerless you feel, there's plenty you can do.

Knowledge is power. If you have been raped or sexually assaulted, follow this advice to arm yourself with information and help yourself get through this difficult time. Even if you have never been raped, this is still good information to have in case you or a friend need it someday.

What To Do

Being raped is a traumatic event that can be made less painful in the short-term and less damaging in the long-run if you take certain steps:

  • Go somewhere you can feel safe, like your room (if the assault happened elsewhere), a friend's place, your resident advisor's room, or a crowded, public place.
  • Call someone. Calling a friend is good; calling someone with rape crisis training is even better. Your campus health center, campus police, the local police, your RA, 800-FYI-CALL, or 411 can all get you the phone number for a rape crisis hotline in your area. If you are a man who has been raped, you can often request and receive a male counselor; women are always given a female counselor by default.
  • Call a hospital (keep reading for more about this) and get yourself taken care of. Remember that you've been assaulted and -- like someone who's been beaten up or shot -- you have been affected physically and need to be examined. If you need a ride, ask a trusted friend, get an escort from the campus police, or ask the hospital for an ambulance.
  • Some rape survivors may want to report the incident to the police. Reporting means telling your story to the police; it isn't the same as entering the criminal justice system and pressing for an arrest. You may need to report to become eligible for crime victim compensation programs and other assistance, but you do not need to report to receive counseling or medical care. Reporting is an individual decision, so don't let anyone pressure you one way or the other.
  • Even if you were raped a long time ago (for example, in childhood), it is never too late to talk to someone about it.

Things To Keep in Mind

After a sexual assault, you may feel like no one has even been through anything as horrible as what you're feeling. It is both unfortunate (for other rape survivors) and lucky (for you) that this isn't true. Many people have endured similar experiences and come out the other side, feeling like their old selves. Learn from their wisdom:

  • Rape is never your fault, even if you were afraid to fight back or if you put yourself in a risky situation. No one deserves to be raped. Try not to blame yourself.
  • You may feel worse because you knew and trusted your attacker. In fact, most rapists are known by the people they assault. A rapist looks like any other guy, so it's not true that you "should have known better."
  • You might run into your attacker on campus. Prepare for this by traveling with friends and doing whatever you need to do to make yourself feel safe.
  • Try to talk things out with a friend you trust or a rape crisis counselor.
  • Rape survivors suffer from many different stress reactions after being assaulted, including: anxiety, insomnia, nightmares, loss of appetite, fear, shock, disbelief, fatigue, headaches, nausea, overeating, flashbacks, mood swings, shame, anger, guilt, irritability, and suicidal thoughts. These feelings are normal for someone in your situation, so you are not alone. (But please get counseling, if you haven't already, if you are having even casual thoughts about killing yourself)
  • You are a survivor.
  • Your feelings aren't good or bad; they just "are." Try to accept them all, even the ones that feel awful, rather than denying them.
  • You will recover.
What Happens At the Hospital

All rape survivors owe it to themselves to get medical attention -- whether the rape occurred recently or not -- to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases.

Going to the hospital right after an assault involves several other procedures, like examination for physical injury and evidence collection (whether or not you want to report the assault to the police; you have 60 days to decide). You can call a rape crisis counselor and have her accompany you to the hospital. The counselor can give you emotional support and make sure all hospital procedures are followed properly.

Before you go to the hospital:

  • If you have not taken a shower or washed in any way, don't. Also avoid combing your hair, urinating, or drinking water until you get the go-ahead from doctors. Doing these things can destroy evidence of the assault. If you've already done them, however, don't beat yourself up over it.
  • If you've changed your clothes, bring the clothes from the assault in a paper (not plastic) bag. If you haven't changed clothes, bring a complete (down to your shoes and socks) change of clothes with you.
When you get to the hospital, you will have to fill out some forms. You will probably have to describe the assault to the doctor so he knows how to prepare for your exam. The doctor will examine you from head to toe, collect your clothing, and give you a pelvic exam (to look for injuries and test for gonorrhea and chlamydia). Blood is drawn for a pregnancy test and syphilis test. You might have to come back for follow-up STD and pregnancy tests. This sounds like an ordeal, but it's better than not knowing.

Remember, rape is a physical as well as emotional injury and deserves medical attention.

Sources:
National Center for Victims of Crime
Central Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services
Rape Recovery Help and Information Page
State of Connecticut Commission on the Standardization of the Collection of Evidence in Sexual Assault Investigations